Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
