the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
