just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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