Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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