so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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