Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
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