Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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