just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
