i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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