You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize