Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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