The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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