Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
