Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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