Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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