shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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