My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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