They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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