Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize