thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
