So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
