I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
