mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He? As in you personified your dick?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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