I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
