Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
