great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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