I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize