She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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