if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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