Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize