I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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