worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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