Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
