I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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