I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm at about main and main street
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize
