Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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