God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I need to align my fucking chakras
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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