I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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