if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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