they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
