i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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