i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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