The maid of honor just puked.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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