i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
