jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
