roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
