Whatcha textin bout Willis?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
