Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
