It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We don't watch enough power rangers
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
