it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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