he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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