my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
