yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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