And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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