Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
