I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
