Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
