I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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