Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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